I had a great discussion with my class last week on several topics but one of them was Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and someone made the comment that “it’s bullshit that if you don’t love yourself, you can’t love anyone else.” And I hear that,…
Tag: toxic partner
Toxic Relationships, Am I In One?
Do you question if your significant other is good for you? Ever feel that you are in a relationship that is out of control? Find yourself making excuses for your significant other?
Here are 4 signs your relationship is TOXIC!
1.) Short Lived Highs
Sometimes it feels like you’re on a roller coaster of emotion– excitement, intrigue, then insecurity & anxiety.
You live for the highs, but mostly you’re experiencing lows, but you keep all hope alive because of your glimmering expectations for what COULD happen. Add in the unpredictability of intense emotions and it adds to what keeps a person stuck in this relationship.
2.) When you’re apart you feel anxious.
When you’re together its all consuming, intoxicating, and you desire nothing but that other person. But you feel crushing anxiety when every event is over. This in turn leaves YOU feeling insecure. You’re so invested in a person who never gives you definite dates or follows through with plans for the next date.
This all causes you to doubt yourself, in turn causing you to second guess every decision you try to make from your appearance, to your personality, to your behaviors. You of course question the status and secure-ness of your relationship. And we all know that being insecure with your relationship causes you to be jealous of every person your partner comes into contact with.
The important thing here, to acknowledge is that you are never truly at peace. Your never fully able to feel at ease and secure in your relationship and with your partner.
3) When you confront your partner, he/she flips it on you & makes it your fault.
Every now and then when you finally work up the courage to confront your toxic partner, they end up making you think you did something wrong and bring up everything you have done wrong. And by the end of it, you feel like you’ve actually done something wrong!! Your partner turning the situation around on you like this is their way of never taking responsibility for their actions and behaviors and how they affect you.
4.) You are Consumed with this relationship.
This person and this relationship is all you can seem to think about. You do everything you can think of to attract your partner’s attention to you, from how you look, to what you wear, anything to keep your partner desiring you. If you aren’t with the toxic partner you are lonely and worry will you ever get what you need from them. You are filled with self doubt and have few other deep relationships because you are pushing people out of your life so as not to let them detect your toxic relationship. You might be scared that your friends and/or family will tell you to end the relationship so you avoid all contact and socializing with them.
YOU MUST BECOME AWARE NOW THAT YOU ARE BEING TAKEN OVER BY THIS RELATIONSHIP! IT IS STEALING YOUR IDENTITY!
If your relationship is toxic and you are in denial or trying to make excuses for you or your partner, it will only make your situation worse. Its impossible to grow and to become healthier in a toxic situation. Your ability for happiness and fulfillment and your ability to reach your full potential will never be a possibility until you can acknowledge your truth and start taking steps to change it.
If this is you, and this sounds like your life, I’ve been there, this was my life. Let me help you take back control of your identity, and your ability to be happy again.
If you are in danger please find a safe place and call the Domestic Violence Hotline for help.
Click the “Join the Pride” tab at the top of the page and join my July Self Care Challenge for $14.99 or check out my Facebook page for other options with more custom and individualized plan. You have the resource to change right in front of you, just make the choice to do it!