Beer Fear & Cheer Podcast

So I did a thing..

Beer Fear and Cheer Podcast
Me and my Brother

 

So I did a thing and started a Podcast with my brother! I absolutely LOVE podcasts! You can find a list of my favorites here.

And since I got addicted to podcasts about a year or so ago I wanted to start my own, but I wasn’t sure what I wanted my podcast to be about! So I thought about it for a long time and finally came to a decision.

And I’m sure you’re thinking, “of course you would do a podcast on self love or mental health or something like that right?”

Actually, no. I decided I wanted this project to be one that is a form of self care for me. I want to talk about something I love, something I know, and something that will be beneficial for other people, even if it’s just for a laugh!

Thats why I decided on a true crime/comedy podcast! Now.. I know you’re thinking, “man that seems pretty off brand for you.” And yeah I guess you’re right! BUT my “brand” is being yourself and doing what makes you happy!

Why true crime/comedy?

Well I love true crime and I love psychology and I like to talk about both of them!

I chose to do this with my brother because we have always been super close and I think we’re hilarious together haha???? But in all honesty, my brother Rich is a lot funnier than I am!

Beer Fear and Cheer Podcast Logo

So we named it Beer, Fear, & Cheer because we get together, drink some beer (or wine) and tell each other stories and try to make each other laugh. We talk about a true crime story, ghost stories, or a story that has to do with one of our fears– our last episode was based on one of my biggest fears which is the water or the ocean. And we discussed the true story behind the movie Open Water. Then when I’m done telling my story Rich tells a story that will make me (and the listener) laugh! We try to cover all of the bases! ????

I have really enjoyed doing the podcast and I’m looking forward to doing more episodes this year. If true crime is your thing too I would love for you to check it out! Just click here to listen! If you don’t have Apple you can find us on Spotify or just about anywhere else you listen to podcasts! If you would also be so kind as to leave us a review we would both be SO grateful! It really helps us out when people leave us reviews! You can also like us/follow us on:

Facebook and join our Facebook group!!

& Twitter

If you have a ghost story or funny/embarrassing story you want to share, we will read it on the podcast in an upcoming episode! Just email it to us at beerfearandcheer@gmail.com We would love to hear from you!!

Enough about me! What is something you would like to do but you are hesitant because it’s not what everyone else thinks you should do. Tell me in the comments!

Mental Health: Beliefs & Emotions

 

Not very long ago I did a few posts on my Instagram about our beliefs and emotions and how the two are connected, and why being aware of them is so important. So I decided to do a blog post as well in case you missed those or want a little more information!

So first off….

Why do our beliefs about our emotions matter?

Well, what we believe about the things in our lives shapes how we perceive the different things in our lives. For example, your emotions. How do you feel about your emotions? If you believe emotions are too hard to deal with, what happens when you get angry?

You may let your anger get out of control and do something you might regret.

Even though you aren’t always consciously aware of your beliefs they still have an impact on your actions. They steer how we want to feel and the actions we take to deal with those feelings.

I used to believe that it was a bad thing to be sad. Now I know that it’s normal to be sad and as long as I’m acknowledging the feeling and then letting it go and not stewing in it. Since I now believe that sadness is normal and Ok, I’m better able to deal with it when it comes up.

Next…

How do our beliefs about our emotions affect our mental health?

Our beliefs affect our mental health through a process, most commonly through “emotion regulation.” Emotion regulation is our ability to deal with and react to an emotional situation.

So my belief that it’s bad to be sad or depressed is only going to make me feel worse when sadness comes up. But when I change my belief to it’s normal to be sad I can better manage my sadness.

One way to do that is by “down regulation” which is just consciously lessening the intensity of an emotion. You can do this by intentionally shifting your thoughts to something that makes you feel happier emotions. Essentially distracting your thoughts to something else. For example, your child or your dog or your significant other, maybe even a song!

This coping skill is something you can use to help you to be more mindful in your daily life. But for deeper issues you should definitely talk with someone!

How would you describe how you feel about emotions in one word? Tell me in the comments!

Finally…

Can we really control our emotions?

To be honest it’s more about experiencing our emotions naturally as they come and let them run their course. The difficult part is the balance act. It’s hard to just let an emotion come and go.

Think about it!

Especially if that emotion is hurt. Say you’re pissed because a friend left you out of an important event. It’s hard to not play the situation over and over in your head, essentially making things worse rather than just feeling the hurt, acknowledge it’s source and then let it go. Instead of trying to control our emotions we need to get better at accepting them.

But what we can change about our emotions is our beliefs about them.

What belief do you need to change?

Emotional Health for Women
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Improve the Quality of Your Friendships

Let’s be honest with each other here, it’s hard making friends as an adult. Am I right? As adults we are much more judgmental, hesitant, and picky about our who we choose as our friends.

Our social circles tend to get smaller as we get older and our lives change. We don’t see the same people that we used to on a regular basis.

However research shows that connection is necessary for living a fulfilling life. We need friends that we can share our lives with to feel whole. I’m sure you have heard the statistics about women’s life expectancy being longer than men’s. This is partly because women are more social creatures. We’re more likely to have a network of friends and therefore more likely to..

LIVE

LONGER!

If that doesn’t say something about how our friendships affect us, I don’t know what does!

So since it such an important aspect of our lives it’s something we should put more effort and intention into.

SO, I made a free 5 Day Course on Friendships! It includes:

  • Characteristics of Healthy Friends
  • 10 Tips for Being a Better Friend
  • Friends & Setting Boundaries
  • Healthy Conflict Resolution in Friendships
  • 5 Tips to Strengthen Your Friendships

If you are interested in my free course just click here to sign up!

Mommy Monday: Casey Kelley

To the Mama Who Let Herself Go

 

I can see the searching and quizzical look on the old friend’s face when I say hello in the grocery store. They’re attempting to place who I am. I feel my stomach drop and my heart pang when I realize they don’t recognize me now. I quickly throw them a life preserver, “It’s Casey! We went to (fill in the blank) together.” We both feel relief and they immediately try to disguise our embarrassment with a comment like, “Oh I didn’t recognize you with those glasses.” I’m grateful for their attempt to hide their disappointment, but I can imagine what they’re thinking. “She sure has let herself go.” They wouldn’t be wrong in thinking this, let me tell you why…

In typical fashion, I’m going to be really honest. I have had many false idols in my life. The image of perfection, youth and physical beauty have been mine for quite some time. They have been (and sometimes still are) my religion, my God. I learned at a very young age that physical beauty was valued in our society. If I could keep my physical body in a static state, that looks something like: thin, toned, tanned, perky, long shiny hair, blemish free, stretch mark free, wrinkle free, grey hair free, carefree — then I would never have to feel unworthy of love. So, I spent most of my time grooming, working out, shopping for the most flattering clothes and accessories, tanning, bleaching, waxing, painting — worshipping the idol of beauty and youth. I attended the church of celebrity gossip magazines and television shows. I took my worship very seriously. My thoughts about these things were all consuming, this was my religion and I was devout.

Then, the most terribly gracious thing happened, I became a mother on three separate occasions. My body was the home for three little souls for nine months each. My breasts and body nourished, and continues to nourish, three tiny humans. My beauty sleep became broken and instead was filled with nurturing brand new people. My hair became thinner and shorter because I no longer had time to spend hours each day grooming it. My nails no longer were manicured, my skin no longer stretch mark free. My taut tummy was replaced with something looser. I traded my sexy clothes for big t-shirts and yoga pants. My shiny idol was beginning to crack and crumble and in its absence was more love and beauty than I could have ever imagined.

Giving up my religion was not easy. The idol was the sacrificial lamb. She was the sacrifice. I absolutely let her go. I let her die, so true unconditional love could be born. The love that remains is so raw, so real, humbling, bring-you-to-your-knees-beautiful. It’s sacrificing sleep to hold a sick baby, it’s wearing pajamas until 6pm because the children needed you all day, it’s watching them learn new things, it’s in listening to them when they’re afraid or heartbroken, it’s in having long talks with your oldest child and realizing how amazing they are, it’s in the early mornings and endless chores.

 

Life has ripped every false idol from my hands. It has showed me what I think I need to be worthy and so graciously reminded me that I already am. So, when you think, “she has let herself go,” you have no idea how accurate you are. I did let her go and would do it all over again if given the chance.

 

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Mommy Monday: My Transition into Motherhood

Happy Monday Lionesses!

I recently watched a Ted Talk (linked at the bottom) about the transition to motherhood and how there really isn’t a name for this transition. She actually compared it to becoming a teenager because of all the hormone changes and the mood swings! I think we can all agree, maybe there are some similarities!

 

For me, this transition has been somewhat smooth. And I think that is mainly because I was blessed with an easy baby (currently knocking on wood.) Everyone always tells you that your motherly instincts will come naturally, and personally that has been pretty true for me. But I don’t feel all that different as a person. I still like the same crazy horror movies and have a deep obsession with true crime. I still have a passion for working with and helping women feel empowered to be themselves. And I still enjoy spending time with my friends.

The most difficult part of this transition has been the guilt part of it all. Am I holding him enough? Am I holding him too much? Do I let him spend too much time away from me? Is he tired of me? Am I helping him enough developmentally? Am I talking to him enough? Am I reading to him enough? I could go on and on with the questions, believe me!

I think one of the things that has helped me the most is that I have made efforts to not lose myself in my son. I take the time to nurture myself as well as him. I work on my business, I read, I exercise, and I spend time with my people who make me happy.  I’m not just a mother, or a wife or a teacher, I am a combination of all of these things and more! Plus I have amazing parents and in laws who love me and Braden and who help me to be able to take care of myself and for that I am SO grateful!

I am a good mother because I ask for help AND I take help when its offered, most of the time at least! A support system is so important for us as women and mothers, we MUST take care of each other!

Alexandra Sacks: A New Way to Think About the Transition to Motherhood

Mommy Monday: Casey Wolfe

“Mom guilt, it’s like my arch nemesis. It’s constantly present, and never ceasing to exist! I had mom guilt before Fitz was even born, and still, to this day, it is present. I have just now learned how to ignore unnecessary guilt and let it “roll off my shoulders.”

Before my son was born, there would be days I would forget to take my prenatal vitamin, or I ate crap for several days.  I thought to myself, what a disservice to my unborn child! I can’t even remember to take a vitamin or eat my veggies that is beneficial to his development. When Fitz was born, I always asked myself, am I rocking him or holding him long enough? Am I using the right bottles? Does he need more gas medicine? It was always never enough, or I always felt like I was doing something wrong. When Fitz was 4 months old, I went back to work, and my mom guilt quickly escalated!  I constantly thought I wasn’t spending enough time with him, and I was missing his milestones. My milk supply dropped when I started back work, and I felt terrible that I couldn’t provide him with enough milk.

To this day, I have guilt when disciplining Fitz, and he is 21 months old. I always think, am I being too harsh? Am I not disciplining him enough? If Fitz eats fast food for several days in a row, he will be fine, he gets to eat food he thinks taste way better than my vegetables. If I discipline him, I know I a teaching him right from wrong because I love him and want him to be a good person. If I don’t give him that piece of cake right before bed and he has a fit, I can’t feel guilty about not giving in to him. I can’t feel guilty about every little thing that I may or may not be doing right. I always second guess myself when it comes to raising Fitz. This is all new to me and I am slowly learning.

There is one thing I do know, and that is Fitz knows he is loved, and he will always be safe. Nothing is ever going to be perfect, but it can be close to it. It can be your kind of perfect. Mom guilt lingers and stays. However, I leaned to let things go and not let it take over. All mommies, and future mommies. You are awesome! Don’t ever compare yourself to anyone and think you should be doing more.  You be you, momma, and love that baby, and that is all they will ever need. Your love. Give your mom guilt a kick to curb and relax. You are doing perfect!”

Casey also owns an online children’s embroidery boutique called Lollie Mac’s. You can find her on Facebook Lollie Mac’s    and Instagram

Check her out! She has some adorable clothes for your little ones!! And mention this blog post and get $3 off your first order!!

Mommy Monday: Chelsie Jordan

My dad has always told me “be where you’re feet are.” And I’ve always rolled my eyes and moved along. My dad is the one always trying to teach life lessons. Trying to teach me to be patient, to not panic in stressful situations, to not cut corners when I turn while driving. Blah blah. I didn’t appreciate every lesson I should have growing up. But now, as a mom, the “being where your feet are” has suddenly hit me.
I’m the mom that constantly worries. The one who has anxiety. The one who struggles with working while my babies are little because I feel like I’m missing so much. The one who still does panic in situations. I am bad about “babying” my children too much and really bad about planning and organizing. The mom who makes my lists at night and pray it doesn’t get lost or forgotten. I’m the mom who 99% of the time does not know our weekend plans because it’s only Wednesday and I haven’t thought that far. So if all these are my weaknesses, you can only imagine how I am never where my feet are.
When I’m at work I think about my babies, when I’m with my babies, I’m thinking about night time routines to get us to next day, and making sure I reserve my grocery pick up order. On the occasional date night, I’m picking the restaurant that doesn’t have a wait time, and where the food usually arrives quick because I need to get home to put kids in bed and start laundry. I’ve tried to be the other mom. The organized planner with suppers and meals organized for the week, or even the month. It just doesn’t work for us. It doesn’t.  Not in our current stage of life. It may one day. And I will look forward to that.

But there is something perfectly imperfect with coming to the realization that your routine might not be your best friends routine. Or your sisters routine. That it’s okay  that my toy room looks like a F5 tornado went through It and I can’t pick it up because I’m almost 100% sure the bins the toys were originally supposed to go in, are broken. And my sister’s toy room looks like it belongs in a magazine. And right beside it, a family photo of them. And for a long time, a REALLY long time, all that bothered me. That I wasn’t that mom. I did a lot of comparing. A lot of crying. And then one day I actually heard my dads words. Be where your feet are. And I stopped. And I breathed. And I looked around at the toy room and laughed. And smiled at the laundry. And then played with the Kids. And read to them. And went on a date with my husband. And breathed. Because every stage of life is hard. Every stage. And it really is up to us to decide, and be confident, that we are enough. And if we want our children to also be confident in themselves, we must show them. We must not compare ourself to others. Because we don’t want them to do that.

Sometimes, in the stages of our life we don’t have the energy to BLOOM where we are planted. We only have the energy to BE where are feet are. And there is something so, so special about that.

Coming Soon: Saturday Stories

I want to hear from YOU!

Send me your story so I can share it here on my blog! Email me at thesmartlioness@gmail.com

“Share your story with someone. You never know how one sentence of your life story could inspire someone to rewrite their own.” -Demi Lovato 

Mommy Monday: Hospital Bag Essentials

Everything You Need for Your Hospital Stay When You Deliver

Not sure what all you need for the hospital when you go into labor? Ive got a list that will tell you everything you need! Before I went into labor with Braden in August I spent SO much time scouring Pinterest and Mom groups for lists of what to take with me because I wanted to be over prepared. I ended up having to stay a few extra days as well so my husband had to make a few trips back home! So through my experience I created this awesome list of everything I couldn’t have lived without!

1.) Loose & Comfy PJs — After birth you can get out of that hospital gown and into your own clothes! I took a night gown (super cute and comfy one from Target as well as some oversized pajama pants I found on Amazon. You want to be comfortable so whichever of these you prefer or both like I did!

2.) Oversized underwear — If you are giving birth vaginally this is key! Get some cheap undies that are way too big! You’ll have to wear pads and ice packs so you will want something that allows this comfortably.

3.)  Nursing bra &/or Tank Top — I got both of these but really didn’t use the tank top until I was home. (It was more tight fitting and I wasn’t as comfortable in it, so be conscious of size! However the bras were so helpful! (Also getting a gown that makes it easy for you to nurse is something to think about as well! Mine had a low neck and then buttoned up the chest so I could just unbutton to breastfeed.

4.) Phone Charger and Extension cord — Of course you can’t forget your phone charger and having an extension cord was so helpful because all of the outlets were too far away to reach the bed without! It just makes your life a little easier!!

5.) Pillow/Blanket — I took my own pillow because I’m picky and also a queen size blanket that I didn’t end up using but my mother did when she slept on the couch in the room with me and so did my husband so its nice to have for the people that are staying with you because that room gets COLD!

6.) DVD’s — I didn’t take any but really wish I would have and my husband forgot them when he made his trip back home! But if you have to be there for a while like I did (over 24 hours of labor) + 3 nights after delivery I was so tired of watching TV and it would have been nice to be able to just pop in a favorite movie.

7.) Toothbrush & toothpaste — Do I really need to explain?

8.) Hair ties — Obvious reasons right?

9.) Bedroom shoes — My feet were SO Swollen most of my pregnancy and for several days after delivery, so I got some bedroom shoes a size too big for the hospital. They want you to walk around pretty soon afterwards and you need something comfy to hobble around the hospital in!

10.) Yeti Cup (Or something like it) — That hospital ice is the BOMB and its the only the besides jello and popsicles that you can eat until you deliver! Plus the cups they give you are pretty small and require a lot more refills than a larger cup.

11.) Robe — This one was so important for me! I got a long robe from Amazon that I lived in! I wasn’t comfortable just being in my nightgown in front of visitors so throwing on my robe was super easy and comfortable! Plus I got a really pretty silk floral robe and it just made me feel good!

12.) Snacks — For your guests up until delivery and then for you afterwards! I was starving by the time Braden finally arrived and hadn’t eaten for over 24 hours!

13.) Headphones — for music during delivery or to listen to to help you go to sleep. Hospital rooms are hard to sleep in with nurses coming in and out but if you have your headphones you can drown it all out!

14.) Body wash — when you take a shower!! Duh!

15.) Shampoo & Conditioner or Dry shampoo

16.) A comfy loose outfit to go home in!

17.) Stool softener — If you are giving birth vaginally, you’ll thank me for this!

18.) Chapstick — Delivering a baby is intense and chapstick was key for me! All that breathing and pushing and everything! Your lips get really dry!

19.) Socks — One thing I left off the list above are socks! If you are anything like me, your feet will get cold! Fuzzy socks were a life savor!

20.) Positive attitude — Labor is scary but your perspective matters too! Stay positive and believe in yourself! You’re stronger than you realize!

Click here to download a printable version of the Hospital Bag Essentials Update