A Facebook group for single ladies. My belief is that women sometimes tend to jump from relationship to relationship without taking time out to heal. We all know that when you end a relationship with someone, it doesn’t completely end there. There are all kinds…
Being an adult is hard! Especially when it comes to relationships! Romantic and friendships! But one thing can make these easier and that is knowing how to know who to trust. And even though trusting anyone is always risky, when you are aware of the characteristics of a safe person vs an unsafe person, you’re going to be a lot better off and better prepared.
There is one very important tool for your “life toolbox” that can be helpful when making new relationships. And that is knowing the difference between a safe person and an unsafe person. One of my favorite books to recommend to my clients is called “Safe People” by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend — just about any book by these two will be helpful though, honestly! These are two of my favorite experts in the mental health field. This book is super short and easy to ready and is really cheap on Amazon.
If you feel like you are always picking the wrong people when you’re dating or making friends, this book is perfect for you and will help you learn to recognize toxic people more clearly and easily. .
If this sounds like something you need to read or would like more info on let me know in the comments!! And if you want to work with me 1:1 click here and let’s get started. I can’t wait to be a part of your journey.
I had a great discussion with my class last week on several topics but one of them was Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and someone made the comment that “it’s bullshit that if you don’t love yourself, you can’t love anyone else.” And I hear that,…
If you’re surrounded by toxic people or just negative Nancy’s, here are some tools for staying positive.
There’s always going to be someone who doesn’t get you, who doesn’t see all of the value you hold. And that’s ok. You don’t need their words of validation because they do not power your worth.
The words you speak/think to yourself on the other hand.. they do power your worth. What are you fueling yourself with? Are you letting your inner critic take over? If so, here are some ways you can fight back!
▪️Spend time alone. You just need to! I don’t care what you do while you’re alone just do it! You need time to be with yourself without any other voices but your own. It’s important!
▪️Gratitude— I will never get off my soapbox when it comes to gratitude!! The benefits are endless. I write down one thing I’m grateful for EVERYDAY! Sometimes it’s big, some times it’s teeny tiny, but it always shifts my attitude to a better place.
▪️Don’t take things personally. Always, always remember- everybody’s dealing with something but not everyone knows how to deal with their stuff in healthy ways.
▪️Find a healthy outlet. Whether it be reading, walking, boxing, or dance classes you need AT LEAST one healthy outlet that makes you happy and helps you escape the everyday routine.
It’s not easy to stay positive if you are in an environment where people are constantly putting you down. Even if you aren’t being “put down” having to spend a lot of time with people who are toxic to your positive mental health can be draining to say in the least.
You have to start taking better care of yourself though. If you don’t, at some point you will break. And nobody wants you to break.
To start getting help with negative self talk today, sign up for my mini course, “How to Get Rid of Your Bitchy Inner Critic” You should love yourself and you should tell yourself that every day!
Have you ever been told that you are too sensitive? Do you fall hard and fast into relationships only to eventually get hurt? Do you feel like you have so much love to give but no one ever appreciates it, or the just ends up taking advantage of you?
I can tell you I totally understand how you feel! My whole life I was told I was too sensitive and that I didn’t need to take things so personally. And I’ve been taken advantage of enough times to tell you, I played my part!
I didn’t value myself. I didn’t think I was worthy of friendships unless I proved myself somehow. I put my all into relationships without stopping to take care of and love MYSELF, and at times even think for myself.
I couldn’t see my own worth.
It took time, effort, and hard work but eventually I built my self esteem up, and was able to see my worth and that it didn’t come from other people or things.
For me, my worth comes from within me and my relationship with God. I am worthy because he made me and that’s all that I need.
How do you measure your self worth?
According to an article on PsychologyToday.com here are a few common, but unhealthy ways to measure your self worth.
- How You Look — Looks don’t last forever!! And what is beauty? Every single one of us has a different definition for beauty so why even bother? A number on the scale doesn’t define you, nor do the amount of likes you get on a selfie.
- Material Possessions — Will you ever feel valuable enough? When will it be enough? What if you lose it? Things hold monetary value but they do not affect your self worth.
- Your Relationships — Feeling important and popular may feel good short term but in the long run these do not make you more worthy. Your romantic relationships will not make you valuable. You do not need anyone else to give you value or worth.
- What you do — Building your worth on the foundation of your career is risky, what happens if you lose your job, or when you retire? You do not have to have an “important” job title to be valuable.
- Your Successes— Your achievements and successes do not make you valuable and your mistakes do not make you a failure. It’s okay to be proud of a win but it’s a totally different thing to base your self esteem on it.
Know yourself. Love Yourself. Be Yourself. That’s my motto. When you truly know yourself, you can truly love yourself. And when you truly love yourself, you can truly be yourself.
Are you ready to work on building your self esteem? All you need to do is take baby steps. Try out my Free 5 Step Guide to Higher Unconditional Self Esteem– Click Here to get started – Self Esteem Queen