Respond, Don’t React
“When you react to something someone says or does, you may have a problem with boundaries. If someone is able to cause havoc by doing or saying something, she is in control of you at that point and your boundaries are lost.
When you respond, you remain in control with options and choices. If you feel yourself reacting, step away and gain control of yourself so family members, can’t force you to do or say something you do not want to do or say, & something that violates your separateness.
When you have kept your boundaries, choose the best option. The difference between responding and reacting is choice. When you are reacting, they are in control. When you respond, you are in control.” – Boundaries, Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
So let’s take a minute to look at the difference between reacting and responding. Reactions are instant, they are driven by our beliefs, attitudes, biases, etc.
A response, however, usually comes more slowly. It’s based on information from both our conscious (aware) mind and our unconscious mind ( beliefs, attitudes, etc)
These two may look a lot alike, but they FEEL different. We all know the difference. The point is though, that the more reacting we do, the less empowered we are. When we do this, we are operating on unconscious beliefs and process that we aren’t even aware of, which, in all honesty has the potential to make us look really stupid if we aren’t careful.
“When I look back on my knee-jerk reactions now, I realize I should have just taken a breath.” -Fred Durst
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